I Am Learning

Yoga has been a part of my life for over a decade, yet I don't think I started learning what it's all about until I started teaching last year. What a presumptuous thing for me to do! To think I could teach something so multi-dimensional, so timeless, so complex yet simple, so strenuous yet mentally relaxing, so transformative... something so... ineffable. I didn't realize I was such a novice until I found myself at the front of the studio in my first class, facing a group of expectant, wide-eyed students. The breath caught in my throat, and my stomach clenched. I wanted so badly for each individual seated before me to feel the yummy-ness of breath and movement. I wanted them to feel the peace of stillness that comes from focusing attention. I wanted them to experience the bliss of yoga - right off the bat. My mind frantically searched for the magic words - the incantation that would bring these students to an instant yogic experience. To no avail, the words did not come. They did not come because they don't exist - this is something I am learning.

I am learning that each person who walks through the door of the yoga studio is his/her own unique entity - comprised of thoughts - good and bad, emotions, desires, motivations, aches, pains, strains, experiences, expectations and reservations. I am learning that these things are personal, they are in flux all the time, and they have an affect on a person's receptivity to the benefits of yoga. In order to really gain an understanding of what yoga is and why we do it, one must first learn the practice of packing up the baggage so the mind may be free to explore and receptive to what yoga has to teach. Some people have an easier time leaving everything at the door - yet for most, the practice of yoga lies in understanding that thoughts and emotions are not lasting, and it is possible to let go of them. That, indeed, is a practice; it is difficult to do right away - we're so attached to our swirling thoughts and feelings because we so easily identify with them as ourselves. I am learning that there are no magic words in yoga (however Om comes pretty close); the magic lies in the student's capacity to let go, open and receive.

What happens if you stop for a moment, and concentrate on taking three big, deep, full breaths. Go, ahead - stop reading and try it. While you do so, give all of your exquisite attention solely on these breaths: notice the way your belly expands on the inhale, notice the cool air that flows into the nostrils, notice the warm air that flows out on the exhale. Notice the control you have over the length and speed of your breath.

What happened? If your concentration was fixed on your breathing, then your thoughts fell away for those few delicious moments while you were taking the breaths. Those thoughts are gone forever; you've just been recharged, you've just received. Now it time to choose what your next thought will be. Make it a good, positive one!

I am learning that yoga is a systematic process that, when employed, gradually reveals the depth of its transformative potential. Yes, I said transformative. I don't mean that if you practice yoga, you'll become a different person. I mean that yoga is a science - it systematically uses breathwork and a sequence of postures in order to fix the mind. When the mind is fixed, it operates on a different wavelength. This level of stillness brings clarity - clarity of who you really are. This clarity brings a mindfulness into your everyday life and actions, which inevitably helps shed away the layers of past experiences, shallow thoughts, anxieties, emotions, etc that may be covering up your truest, strongest Self.

As a yoga practitioner and teacher, I am learning all the time. I think that's why I'm involved in yoga - more more I practice the more I learn - about myself, my relationships, the workings of my mind, what stirs my heart, what brings me peace, what makes me huffy... and the more I learn the more I realize how much more room I have to learn and grow. The learning process is an almost painfully revealing, yet joyous and invigorating part of life. Learning is living - it's growing. It's a process that keeps you a gloriously enlivened human being.